Monday 31 January 2005
We really need a word for Schadenfreude
Much excitement about "Blair's Doodlings" earlier in the week. Except that Downing Street claims that they weren't our glorious leader's. Oh no. They were the work of one Bill Gates. Tee hee.
Monday 31 January 2005
The prosecution has been refocussed
It's a well-known fact that you can guarantee success at anything by employing a focus group. So it's a logical extension to that train of thought for a lawyer to get a focus group in to identify what is most likely to swing the jury. Of course, if the actual jury is the actual focus group, then the likelihood is so much greater.
This profoundly disturbs me. There's an axiom I've had ground into me throughout my years of legal education and practice: 'Justice must be SEEN to be done as well as being done'. Just because something may be legal doesn't make it ethical. I think this paying of former jurors to be consultants crosses the line and any attempt to play down its potential long term ethical implications relies far too much on faith in human nature. I'm SO glad that we can't do things like this in the UK. x
Wednesday 26 January 2005
Chilled Out Entertainment
Ricky Gervais on the US version of The Office:
"It seems such a long time since The Office was on in England. Just like the second world war, the Americans got involved three years late but have finished the job brilliantly."
I don't know.... I can be the judge of that.
Tuesday 18 January 2005
Word Play
I'm a sucker for Collins' Living Dictionary, primarily because of things like this.
Admittedly, it can get a bit like Douglas Adams and John Lloyd's "The Meaning of Liff", but I always felt that words from that fine tome should enter general usage. Why, just this morning, I was caught out and subsequently embarrassed by an esher.
Some suggestions to the living dictionary are very much of their time, and likely to fall out of use very quickly, others are unlikely to catch on, however much they should; but there are some really good suggestions that just might break through into general use. (And I've only got as far as 'B'!)
Tuesday 18 January 2005
Fair and Balanced
George Monbiot in today's Guardian, in reaction to the sacking of CBS staff for reporting on how Dubya avoided the Vietnam draft:
How many people have lost their jobs, at CBS or anywhere else, for repeating bogus stories released by the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth about Kerry's record in Vietnam? How many were sacked for misreporting the Jessica Lynch affair? Or for claiming that Saddam Hussein had an active nuclear weapons programme in 2003? Or that he was buying uranium from Niger, or using mobile biological weapons labs, or had a hand in 9/11? How many people were sacked, during Clinton's presidency, for broadcasting outright lies about the Whitewater affair? The answer, in all cases, is none.
Monday 17 January 2005
Musical Breadth
In other radio news, a secret computer programme (secret in that no record company will admit to using, but which record companies have been using to identify whether songs will be hits or not), is being used by a Spanish Radio station to identify songs which are outside a particular format, but which would be well received by listeners.
This is an interesting development, and could lead to more diversity in music programming. Which is a good thing.
Monday 17 January 2005
It's all for charidee, mate
Strange day on Brit radio - every commercial station (as opposed to the BBC) are broadcasting the same programme, a 12 hour long 'radiothon' to raise money for tsunami relief. Which is all well and good and busts open the Harry Enfield-generated stereotype of Radio DJ's 'doing a lot of work for charity, but not wanting to talk about it, and then talking about it.'
The lineup is interesting, though. As well as the good intentions, it would have been a great opportunity to showcase some of the great radio skills out there. So a schedule of 6am - 8am you get Davina McCall and Dermot O'Leary (TV Presenters); 8am - 10am Chris Evans (famous for screwing over the BBC); 10am - 12pm Simon Bates (Antique former BBC presenter currently hibernating at Classic FM); 12-2pm Zoe Ball (Ex Radio 1 breakfast show host); 2-4pm Mark Goodier (Ex Radio 1 chart show host); 4-6pm Johnny Vaughan (Ex Ch4 breakfast TV presenter & currently hiding from 85% of the country on Capital FM). There's been some good performances from the regions; as they cross to various jocks around the UK for 'updates' on what's happening ... these are the people that should have taken centre-stage, IMHO.
I thought that was every commercial station except Sunrise Radio? ;) x
Friday 14 January 2005
Feeling better?
An interesting article in the American Journal of Public Health, giving an indirect bigup to free healthcare. The overview, not surprisingly, says it all.
"The US health system spends far more on the "technology" of care (e.g., drugs, devices) than on achieving equity in its delivery. For 1991 to 2000, we contrasted the number of lives saved by medical advances with the number of deaths attributable to excess mortality among African Americans. Medical advances averted 176 633 deaths, but equalizing the mortality rates of Whites and African Americans would have averted 886202 deaths. Achieving equity may do more for health than perfecting the technology of care."
In another part of the US, Michigan to be precise, it turns out that if you plead guilty but can't afford a lawyer, you can't appeal. Of course, those wanting to appeal against this ruling would need a lawyer, but if they could afford one then they obviously wouldn't be able to appeal against it. My brain hurts now.
Oh this is just absurd. If the reasoning is that once you've pleaded guilty there's not much point in appealing anyway, what about people who only wish to appeal against their sentence and not the conviction itself? *shakes head* I bet we lawyers end up getting the blame for this one too... x
Friday 14 January 2005
Big Issue
Any quite hopes I had that we (the royal we, of course) might be able to solve the climate change problem were dashed last night whilst watching Horizon.
Apparently, solving the problem of particle pollution is rapidly making Global Warming worse. Of course, this just gives grist to the mill of those who say there's no point in doing anything, and makes me wonder (being a conspiracy theorist and all) that this isn't just a grand hoax put about by the oil companies to ensure we keep on pumping extra dust into the air.
The fact that politicians continue to treat terrorism as a bigger threat than climate change is one thing, however, that can be and needs to be solved soon. Perhaps the evidence that pollution is responsible for the droughts that led to the 1984 Ethiopian Famine may guilt some people into doing something.
I never said I was anything other than a blind optimist.
Thursday 13 January 2005
Come fly the friendly skies
I suppose under the freedom of information act, I should release the following.
London, 11th January 2004. Weather: Clear. Winds, from the North West. Approx 90mph (Storm force 10.)
By some miracle, I was booked on the only flight out of Aberdeen that night which didn't get cancelled. We board, and the pilot jocularly warns us that it's going to be a bumpy ride. The attendants speak extra slowly when doing the safety announcements, and the tannoy gets louder as the demonstration progresses, to the point that at the end of her speech the squealing feedback is getting a little annoying.
The first spot of turbulence hit the plane before we even backed away from the terminal. Seriously. Stationary Airbus A320 (or whatever), shaking around like anything. Ah well. We take off. It is bumpy. Very bumpy. The stewardess begins an attempt at inflight service, at which point there's a huge bump, she falls flat on her face, and all the oxygen masks drop down from the ceiling.
How funny, we all thought. The turbulence is so bad it's knocked the oxygen masks out of their housings. Heh.
A minute later, in a 'trying to be calm but somewhat higher pitched than during the safety announcement' purser switches on the intercom and advises us that actually we should be putting the safety masks on, to cover our noses and mouths, and to breathe normally. Eeek. At this point, I notice a rather strange smell. Like something burning. It really does smell like something is burning. I look out of the window at the engine on my side, and to my relief note that it isn't on fire.
After a couple of minutes, I notice that the guy on the opposite row to me is asleep, and consequently hasn't put his mask on. I throw a magazine at him, smile, and wave the spare mask from the seat next to me at him. He gets the message. The plane is bumping around, and I notice, now circling. (Despite the high winds the skies were eerily clear.)
The tension in the air is palpable. As is the smell. As is the irregular change in the noise from the engine. A burst of thrust, followed by a noticeable lift, followed by silence associated with a noticable drop in altitude. This happens a few times. Then we seem to level out, and we're not circling any more. The purser comes back on the intercom to tell us, in a slightly more relaxed tone, that everything is now fine.
The thought process that goes through ones head is quite telling. First, it's the settlement with yourself that if you do die, everything has been fine and you're happy and it couldn't happen at a better moment. Then you begin to look for reasons. Did the pilot sound drunk when he welcomed us on board? Now I come to think of it, maybe he did. Oh my god, we're all going to die because of a pilot who enjoys Jack Daniels. And he was American. This is all retribution. There's an American Republican Cell who are sending in suicide pilots to get their own back on us lily-livered liberals! Argh! Panic!
Of course, we landed safely, although the dangling oxygen masks do precisely emphasise the movement of the plane, which you don't normally notice. It makes the landing more real, you know?
The smell, as the obviously Democrat pilot pointed out after landing, was because the safety masks had never been activated on this plane before, and you always get a bit of a carbon smell from the vents that are exposed when the panels drop down. And he kindly explained, once we were safe on the ground, that there'd been a small problem with cabin pressurisation. i.e. There wasn't any for a bit. But then there was again.
And so endeth one of the scarier 75 minutes of my life.
I repeat the comment I made on your last post, viz:
"See - that's what you get for always going on about how much you like wind. Hopefully you have now learnt your lesson and realise that wind is not your friend.
Not. Your. Friend."
Now do you understand? And no more of your claims that the wind got you home safe - that was the plane and the pilot. The wind was the thing trying to knock you out of the sky, not the thing trying to keep you up there safely!! x
Tuesday 11 January 2005
A touch of Wind
So I find myself sat in the departure lounge at Aberdeen Airport, with this going off outside. Now I have suddenly had a really important meeting arranged for me tomorrow in London at early o'clock, and I suspect I'm not going to be there. Joy. However, I did get to experience the elements on the top of a hill halfway between here and Inverness, in a specially cleared area that the Forestry Commission are going to plant with 'native' trees, rather than the bloody awful fast-growing easily removed conifers that carpet half of Scotland at the moment. And it was extraordinary. I've never been so far north in these little islands before. And me without my camera. The one on my phone is just not up to the job.
See - that's what you get for always going on about how much you like wind. Hopefully you have now learnt your lesson and realise that wind is not your friend.
Not. Your. Friend. x
Blimey - did you manage to get home? The trains packed in about 10pm on Tuesday, so I'd be surprised if planes were still taking off!
(PS I'm only 31!)
Sunday 9 January 2005
David! David!
David Aaronovitch is one of those people that I often vehmently disagree with, and equally often agree with. Today is one of those days when he's pulled a great observation out of the hat.
".. being offended is an occupational hazard in a free society."
Of course, you have to read his whole article about the Jerry Springer patheticness to get to it, as it's right at the end.
Sunday 9 January 2005
HBTM
Had a marvellous day/night out in London - Therefore I thoroughly recommend you eat here (The Mango Tree, Grosvenor Place) and see this (Fully Committed, at the Arts Theatre).
I still can't get over how extraordinary that chocolate and lemongrass mousse was - absolutely sublime. As for "Fully Committed", it made me feel a lot better about not being able to take you to the Comedy Store: I still owe you a visit there, I reckon. xx
PS: look at you, being all coy with your title! For all those who don't know, "HBTM" stands for "Happy Birthday To Me" - either you're being terribly self-effacing, Dan, or you're still in denial about the ageing thing! x
Friday 7 January 2005
All Mixed Up
Oh, how I laughed.
The Sun's reaction to the BBC Screening Jerry Springer - The Opera.
Sky TV Sponsors cheap tickets at the stage show of Jerry Springer - The Opera.
Sun Newspaper - prop. R Murdoch
Sky TV - prop. R Murdoch
It's 8th January. Which means...
IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!!
Happy Birthday, baby. xx
Friday 7 January 2005
Be the best you can be!
I thought there was nothing today, and then this little gem crossed my browser:
It's easy to laugh. After all, they could have been highly satisfactory.
Mustn't go overboard with the boasting, you know!
Thursday 6 January 2005
Dis Content
And while we're on the subject of overbearing corporate monoliths, may I add Vodafone to that pot. This evening, stuck up north with only a 56K GPRS connection to entertain me, I was idly surfing around and stumbled (via Vic) across crank.net, a harmless enough catalogue of the web's obsessives. I was most keen to visit the Star-Esseenia Temple of Ascension Mastery, which is apparently a full service 11:11 Ashtar Command Ascension Center sponsored by the Angels of Light, the Ascended Masters and the Ashtar Command for the purpose of facilitating accelerated mental, emotional and spiritual growth for Earth based Lightworkers dedicated to the Ascension path. Which sounds like it's right up my street.
Not according to the all knowing masters at my telecommunications provider, who have, unbidden, decided that it is not suitable for my viewing.
Unless, of course, they know that it's all really true, but are, like, trying to keep it from us.
Thursday 6 January 2005
Sucked (in) by Gates, again
Warning. Geekspeak ahead.
Being a slave to Microsoft, I'm always very aware of spyware infecting my computers. Up until now, I've relied on Lavasoft's AdAware, which has been mostly OK, but they had an annoying habit of releasing new versions and not updating the definition files in the old versions, without actually telling you.
Anyway. Microsoft have now released their own software to block spyware; and it has a number of other useful functions, including user-friendly ways of controlling what programs your PC starts up when you switch on. Annoyingly, so far, it seems very good.
One small foible; for some reason, (and being a cynic I can think of one at least), it treats the excellent Google Desktop Search Engine as a browser hijack, and recommends most strongly that you remove it.
I also noticed today that hotmail.co.uk addresses are now available, so I've detached my existing address from Passport. Which I should never have associated in the first place. Now the spam damage is done. Anyway. "dustbinman (the at sign) hotmail (fullstop) co (fullstop) uk" is the place to find me now on MSN Messenger or email. Unless you have my other address, in which case stick with that one.
Thursday 6 January 2005
Even statisticians smile
I do love the annual report on what people have been naming their brats in the last 12 months. Good to see Daniel still up there in the top 5. Makes me feel less special.
There's a particularly nice write-up of it this year by civil servant, obviously overjoyed at the opportunity to flex their writing muscle.
Yes, I saw this somewhere else too. It always amuses me how there are trends in baby names, especially some of the more hideous ones (why oh why, in this day and age, name a girl Harriet/Hannah/Daisy for example? Or a boy Oliver/Harvey/Harrison? Don't you love your poor children?). Oh well, I suppose I'm just lucky that while my name isn't at all common it isn't horrid either (as so many uncommon names are), while you may rejoice at the swelling of the ranks of Daniels. x
Well, their writing muscle is obviously their penis. Some people should stick to SPSS...
Wednesday 5 January 2005
Brian Strain
Brian, who knows absolutely everything, has just emailed me this link. It's lots of fun, and very pretty, but I haven't found a use for it yet. You put a URL in, and then it uses Google to map all the links to it, in an ever changing world of coloured arrows and website URL's. As soon as I work out how to use it, I'll let you know.
I suppose now that you've 'rebooted' your whole site (and, incidentally, appear to be resisting my rebranding suggestion of 'marmiteman' so I shall give up on that one) you're going to have to write a new 'About Me' spiel. I shall look forward to it. Not that I'm telling you what to do (marmiteman) or anything, of course... x
Wednesday 5 January 2005
Ironic, Lionic, Zionic
I hate Marmite¡
The above statement is ironic. Those who know me know how much I love that glorious scraping from the bottom of a beer barrel.
But now Americans, famous for their sense of irony and sarcasm¡ are suggesting that it's such a wonderful thing that we need a punctuation mark to indicate when it's being used.
The irony being, of course, that those who know irony don't need one. I for one don't want this private party spoiled. It's yet another attempt to remove something that us Brits can feel superior about. Fight the introduction of the Sarcasm Point! Keep your exclamation marks the right way around!
Of course, he could have been joking.
a sarcasm point? dumb dumb dumb.
You just have to hope he forgot to use one of his sarcasm marks at the end of the sentence in which he proposes their use.
Btw, have you ever considered rebranding yourself as marmiteman? I think it works. (sarcasm mark needed there? I'll leave it to you to decide.) x
Wednesday 5 January 2005
More Fish. No Jokes.
Interesting Blog from an aid worker in India; the angle being the political ramifications and shenanigans that are going on; and the real reason the government of India are advising people not to eat fish, even if it is already cooked when they catch it. What with the Kalpakkam Nuclear reactor being on the coast, and all that.
Of course, you know who has a very particular (and ironic) link with Kalpakkam's Nuclear Research facility (the Indira Gandhi Centre for Atomic Research, or IGCAR) don't you... x
Wednesday 5 January 2005
Free except when it isn't
Nice test of the Freedom of Information act on BBC News Online today, comparing the Swedish edition with our own.
Tuesday 4 January 2005
Something smells
Q: Name three fishes that begin and end with the letter K
A1: Killer Shark
A2: Kwik-Save frozen haddock
A3: Kilmarnock
Why Kilmarnock? Because it's a place in Scotland.
(Apparently, Jack Straw's favourite joke, as repeated by Sue Arnold in 'The Observer'.)
Tuesday 4 January 2005
Difficult
I know there are many thousands of terrible individual stories that can be told as we learn more about the impact of the Tsunami. But I'm slightly disturbed by the BBC's obsession with this story, which to me is detracting attention from the bigger picture. Not least because of the tenuous nature that one discovers when the details are considered.
Sunday 2 January 2005
Don Rumsfeld in "Actually a Student" shock
He won't do any of the work he's meant to do, but give him the opportunity to nick a roadsign and scrawl all over it, and that's a different story entirely.
Sunday 2 January 2005
Don't be objective
If being objective leads to public statements like this then I shall stop putting it forward as a personal attribute.
Although one has to commend the bravery of the Archbishop of Canterbury, who describes in the Observer today his reaction to the Tsunami. It is, after all, a tough one to explain away given the presence of a compassionate God.
It's from the Ayn Rand Institute. What would you expect?
Sunday 2 January 2005
20 things you missed
A handy digest of 20 stories you probably missed. Particularly good to know is that OFCOM has found that Rebecca Loos' pig was not unnecessarily degraded by the experience. Unlike Channel Five. Oh, and that one of the stories took place 3 miles from my house.
Sunday 2 January 2005
Quick!
Here's something that probably won't stay once the lawyers find it - mp3 files of all of the Fab Four's 'Christmas Fan Club' messages. These are very funny.
Sunday 2 January 2005
First Bushpop of the Year
Bush has seen sense and upped the US contribution to Tsunami relief to $350m; it did look a little pathetic that the US contribution for a while was the same as Pfizer (and not to compare with the $500m from Japan government or $100m from UK government). Meanwhile, his inauguration ceremony will cost $40m - can he really justify this in the face of the desperate need?
Meanwhile, it's the first of January. The day that the interesting 30-year-rule stories are published. The UK media seems to be focussing on Princess Anne staving off a kidnap attempt, and the 1974 equivalent of a post-it note on a file suggesting that Idi Amin was a little 'naive'.
However, AFP and the Aussie press are liking the story (as am I) that the Wilson government considered Nixon a bit of a nutter, and made quiet plans to disassociate themselves from any of his activities. I wonder if similar plans are in place currently? Can we find out under our shiny new Freedom of Information laws? I doubt it, somehow.
Heeey...what were you doing weblogging when you could have been drinking in town with me!!
Saturday 1 January 2005
Vision of 2004
Happy New Year! Here are the pictures, some by me, which will float through my mind when I remember 2004. Whilst the last few days have been devastating for so many people, I will guiltily remember it as one of the best.
Chamonix and Argentiere - As seen by me from the top of Mont Blanc in March
Boscastle in Cornwall - scene of freak flooding in June (Picture from the Guardian)
Chicago - a boat leaving the Marina as seen by me in June.
Knock Knock! Who's there? Kerry! Kerry who? That's politics! (Photo: Dan Chung)
St Marks Square, flooded. As seen by me in October 2004.
The Transit of Venus. Even I saw that crazy dot on the sun. (Photo: AP)
Rosie. The most beautiful girl in the world. Christmas Day.
Nice pics Dustbinman. You soppy old thing :} See ya laters potatas!
Hey you... :)
She is, indeed a beautiful girl!!
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